Know any good Lawyer jokes??

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!”

“What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. ‘”We weren’t making love.”

“Sorry,” said the sailor, “From up there it looked like you were.”

Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.

The husband says to himself, “By golly he’s right! It DOES look like they’re making love down there!”

Read in full at Shipwrecked

Caller: Hello, is this the Help Line?HelpLine: Yes, it is. How may I help you?Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?HelpLine: I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?Caller: Yes, it’s attached to the front of my

Read in full at Cup Holder

1) Don’t buy a computer.2) If you do buy a computer, don’t plug it in.3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.

Read in full at The Three Laws of Secure Computing

An overweight clerk consulted the doctor for advice. The doctor advised that the clerk run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would burn off as much as twenty pounds.The clerk follows the doctor’s advice and, after thirty days, was pleased to note a loss of twenty pounds.The clerk

Read in full at Miracle Diet

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar.The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says “What is this - some kind of a joke?”

Read in full at Cliches

“Congratulations to Senator John McCain, the big winner in Florida. You know, this was what they call a GOP-only primary. So McCain had to win over a whole new voter…

- Computer manufacturers are considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.- A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After

Read in full at Stupid Computer Tricks

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.””Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.””No, mother, you don’t understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about

Read in full at The Tearful Bride

This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.I bet you were mad.Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!

Read in full at Clean Breakfast

A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”The person says, ” Well, there’s

Read in full at Door Signs